In Heaven, we don’t have to use anything. A low Heaven – yes, but high Heaven – no. (Right.) But even then, lower Heaven, you still have more conveniences than our things.
(Hi, Master.) Hi. (How is Master? Is everything OK with You?) Thank you for asking. Thank you for caring. I’m not sure if I’m OK. (Aw!) Sometimes, it’s just overwhelming, but I still continue to work. What to do? What to do? It’s not just the work, it’s the responsibility feeling, and too much suffering in the world, too much suffering, too much suffering. Humans and animal-people – too much suffering and it’s just I don’t know how to hide from them. (Right. Oh, Master.) War here, war there, war everywhere. (Yes, that’s right. Yes, so Master, how are You feeling?) I try to take care of myself but sometimes it’s so hard. (Oh.) Because when I work so hard, I want to eat something, I just don’t know what and how to prepare – it takes so long, and then sometimes I wish I had someone nearby.
(Oh, yes. How come Master, You don’t have anybody nearby now?) I don’t know either. On retreat normally, you should be alone. You know that right? (Yes.) But normally, even on retreat – like for example, in the Buddhist tradition, even in Tibet, in the remote areas, there is always somebody who brings food, (Oh right, yes.) puts it outside your cave or your room or wherever you’re hiding. (Yes.) Just I have to work, I cannot hide. (Oh right, yes.) And if people come and bring food to me, then they know where I live and all that. (Ah yes, that’s true.)
And if you have one person with you, then you have to sometimes deal with their problems, their mood. And even if I don’t live with anybody, sometimes, or often, I have to often talk to someone because of business. (Yes.) And also other things – daily activities, all kinds of things. They seem to have a lot of time, but they don’t understand that I don’t. That’s the problem. (That’s true, yes.) And I just tell them, “Please just to the point, just answer my question. Yes or no, one word, or why, that’s it. No need to talk around the whole history of mankind, my God.” (Yes, that’s true.) Maybe they like to talk to me, I don’t know. But it’s just that I don’t have time. I can’t afford it, truly. (Right, Master, yes.) Just sometimes it’s so tiring, so exhausting if people just keep talking, talking, and I don’t have time and I need to do many other things. But never mind about that. If you are happy, you’re good, then it’s fine. At least somebody is well and fine. Don’t worry about me, I’m just… it’s just my fault, everything. (We do and we hope You’re well and safe and protected during this precarious time on the planet.) Thank you, thank you very much.
It’s all my fault, I have chosen this work, nobody forced me to. It’s all my fault, all the time I say that, “All your fault alone,” I say to myself. (Aw.) Maybe one day I’ll fire myself then. (Oh. We need You and we thank You for all that you do, Master.) Oh, thank you, it’s OK. Of course, there are many people who are doing it together, but I’m the responsible one. (Yes.) And that’s a very heavy feeling sometimes. (Aw.) Though I love to do it, just the physical body doesn’t always agree with you, that’s the thing. (Yes, that’s right.) That’s the thing. And sometimes I say to myself, “Oh, one day I will say, ‘You are fired. Then we will have no more problems.’”
And I really miss the time before, when I didn’t have a lot of disciples and I didn’t have a business, not much. We just did like handicraft and just sold it to whoever came. (Yes.) And we didn’t have a lot of money, didn’t have anything, except a tent. But I was happier, much, much happier. I mean second best compared to the time I lived alone in the Himalayas, in Rishikesh. (Yes.) Well, I didn’t live alone like completely isolated from people, but I lived alone in my own little mud room. (Right.) And no, I didn’t know anybody there. Well some, one or two came from other ashram places. I knew them before and they came there also to visit Rishikesh. But they just came and then went after one week or something. And we hardly had time for each other, because I went to meditate.
In the middle of the Ganges, there’s a little island, very little – only two people can sit. I sat alone. I told you guys already. (Yes.) And one time, when the water rose up, I didn’t know how to get out, but I did get out somehow. (Wow.) I couldn’t see anything. Because I meditated until late and at that time, suddenly, the weather turned and the sky became dark, you couldn’t see anything. And I don’t know how I got home. Must be protection from the Ganges Mother or something or from God. (Yes.) I said, “Oh God, bring me home, I don’t know how.” You couldn’t see the stones or anything that you can walk on. The water rose up so quickly. I was thinking, “Oh, that’s it, huh. Is it the day?” Yeah, but then no… I got home OK. I just walked. I didn’t see anything, I just walked. (Wow.) Walked in the dark on the water. Not on the water, but I mean as the water rose, I just walked. I didn’t see anything where I walked. (Yes. Wow.)
But I was always happy there. It’s just kind of so carefree, you feel so free. I had no money. Not a lot. I could afford only one samosa… not every day even, but I was so happy. And then the time when I didn’t have a lot of disciples, but many of the resident monks and nuns, and on Sunday, we would go down, talk to the public, because everybody came there, a lot of people went there to listen to me. (Yes.) And when we came back, we just made like a small barbeque and sat together and talked nonsense. (Sounds so nice.) Talked nonsense around the fire. When it was colder, it was nice to sit around the fire (Yes.) and then roast some potatoes, oranges and some vegan ham, vegan sausage, whatever, (Wow.) and eat some with self-made chapati roasted on the fire. (Nice.) I had no worries in the world. (Yes.)
And now, every day it’s just so much, so much, so much, I don’t know what to say, so much to face. So much to solve, so much to work. (Oh, gosh, yes.) I just am grateful that I’m still alive and can do. But sometimes it seems a lot. (Yes, we’re all very grateful to Heaven for that too.) The inside pressure, not just the outside look only. (Right.) Because when you’re alone, you have to do everything. Even some of my suitcases are not unpacked yet, (Whoa.) so I could not find things. But what to do? It’s not that easy. I have to work outside. (Yes.) And then I have to work inside as well. I have to meditate and solve things inwardly. (Right.) Many things I have to find out, and have to solve and all that. It doesn’t seem believable to anybody but it’s the way I live my life at the moment. And sometimes even it’s very hard for me to feel like I could do it smoothly and easily. (Right.) The body just doesn’t listen to your commands – not all the time.
And some days, just really so much that I forgot to write the number. I wrote it wrong for example, like the telephone number. (Yes.) I wrote number five and it’s supposed to be number zero, (Oh.) for example like that. And then I kept calling, it didn’t work, until later I found out the number was wrong. (Aw.) Luckily, I didn’t disturb anybody, nobody answered because it was the wrong number or something. (Oh gosh.) Sometimes the phone company answered and said, “Your phone is not activated, please activate your phone number.” And because I have to keep moving all the time, so sometimes I have to rely on these phone tickets or something. And I couldn’t see the number very well and I punched it all wrong also. (Aw.) And those times are really a nuisance. (Oh, yeah.)
I really dislike the low-tech of this world. (Yes.) I really dislike the system in our world that we lose all the telepathic capabilities. (Yes.) In Heaven, we don’t have to use anything. A low Heaven – yes, but high Heaven – no. (Right.) But even then, lower Heaven, you still have more conveniences than our things. Anyway, I wanted to ask how are you, and you asked me first, and I talked a lot. (I’m good. Thank You, Master. Thank You for asking.) You’re OK there? (Yes.) Not as good as before, but never mind. Everything will come to pass. (But we are lucky we have what we have. We are well taken care of, thanks to Master’s Grace.) Then it’s good. I’m happy.
There’s quite some news recently I read, and I feel also sometimes happy, sometimes sad, it depends. Did you read anything that affects you? (Yes, there’s a couple of news to report that I’ve seen. For example, President Xi is distancing himself from Putin and his war. And Chinese officials say that Putin is crazy, and China now believes Russia will lose in Ukraine [Ureign] and become a minor power.)
Wow! President Xi is getting more and more agitated about war. He’s all more for peace nowadays, somehow. Like, last time, he even asked Putin to write down when the war will finish and how. (Yes, yes, yes.) Agitated. (Right.) You can see through that President Xi is really a peaceful inner person. It’s his quality. (Yes.) You can see very well. Because normally Russia is supposed to be China’s ally, but the Kremlin is going in the opposite direction of peace. (That’s right. Yes.)
And anything to make war, to make suffering, atrocities and war crimes like that, it’s against even the core of communism. (Yes.) Communism is originally to try to make people happy, especially the victims, the poor people. (Right. Yes.) So, the Kremlin, under Putin, is doing all the opposite things. Oppressing the poor defenseless women and children and raping them and all that. And robbing their things. (Yes.) Robbing their harvests and all kinds of stuff. And bombing them in winter – letting them freeze. They want them to freeze to death like that. This is beyond inhumane. (Yes, true. It’s terrible.) Oh, my God.
“Media Report from BBC News – Nov. 18, 2022, Reporter (m): Yesterday’s wave of missile strikes caused further damage to a power grid that was already afflicted by previous Russian attacks. The new Russian strategy response to losses on the battlefield with a targeting of gas, water, and above all, electrical infrastructure designed to harm millions of Ukrainians as winter’s cold begins to bite.”
“Media Report from Sky News – Dec. 1, 2022 Reporter (f): This is part of the power grid that was hit during one of several waves of air strikes since October. Russia’s aim seems to be to try to freeze Ukrainians into submission.”
This is the way they want it. They want to make all people die or run away so that they can take the land. But what for do you kill everybody and then you rule whom? (Exactly.) If you don’t have any co-citizens, what for do you become a king or president – of whom? (That’s true.) Even if you seize their city, their village, how do you feel good about it? (Yes, exactly.) So, this man, he’s not human. Heaven told me like that. He’s not human. (No, cannot be.) You can see it. Because humans don’t do these kinds of things. (Yes, that’s right. It’s true.) Even the fierce animal-people only kill one or two when they’re really hungry, and that’s their job only. They don’t just kill anyone or any time en masse like that and for no reason. (Yes.) This is beyond evil. And that makes me suffer so much.
Because of the war, everybody’s scared. And this fearful energy is disturbing me as well. Do you understand that? (Yes, I do. I can imagine.) I’m very sensitive to the environment, or to the energy. And their suffering makes me suffer. Their fear makes me fear. (Yes, Master.) And then thanks to all this war and shortages of food and energy, many people die – even in peaceful countries – die from hunger, die from the cold, because they can’t afford the prices, which are skyrocketing everywhere (Yes.) due to shortages because of the war. And because of the war, our work also became in some ways disturbed and has trouble. (Right.) And I became like homeless, (Oh, Master.) because I have to keep running. (Wow.) I have to protect myself and protect all the workers in different ways. Because of the way we work, what we do. (Yes, Master.)
It’s not like if you want to help humans, and you say the truth, then humans will like you, love you and follow your advice. It’s not like that. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have crucified Jesus, or wanted to assassinate Buddha and many other Masters (Yes.) in a gruesome way, in a cruel, horrific way. (Yes.) I wonder why any Master would still come to this world to try to help humans. I wonder why any Master would ever want to do this kind of thing, bringing harm upon Himself, humiliation upon Himself and all kinds of wrongful accusations upon Himself. I wonder why Buddha ever came, why Jesus ever stepped out to teach humans anything and get crucified like that when He’d done nothing wrong. (That’s right.) All He did is just teach people the peaceful way. (Yes.) And any leader should have been grateful for that, because if all the citizens followed Jesus at that time or followed Buddha, then they would never have any war, any crime, any problems in society or against the government even. (Yes, Master.)